The Malevolence Chip

Deep within the inner recesses of the computer is a chip about which most of us know nothing. It isn’t mentioned in your computer’s specifications. You won’t find any information about it in the user manual or online. But trust me, it is there and it is called the Malevolence Chip. I have been dealing with it over the past week.

I first encountered it while I was writing my latest blog post and preparing a presentation for a coming conference. The Malevolence Chip understood that I was working to a deadline and so it kicked into action. It closed down both my open browsers and then refused to allow any browsers to launch.

Most of the time the MC hums along in the background. It watches every key stroke, noting every program you open, every web site you visit. It comes to understand how long you can work without a break. It comes to understand YOU!

When the MC feels it has enough information about you to strike in the most infuriating manner, at the most inopportune moment, it swings into action. What I didn’t realize until last week was that the MC also knows the exact moment when you are about to hurl the computer to the ground and take to it with a hammer. Just before that snapping point is reached, everything is put back neatly back together again. It’s as if your commuter is smiling sweetly up at you and innocently asking, “What? Is something wrong?”

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3 Comments

Filed under Thinking

3 responses to “The Malevolence Chip

  1. Oh yes. And the same goes for servers.

  2. Jan D. Phillips

    Oh, hell Pat you are able to write about anything and everything…………male(volence) chip in computers…….really …been thinking it was just slow me and computer (laptops) you do have a way with words , dear. Enjoying this 🙂 and When are you heading our way, girl???

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